Javaughn Taylor: Where did the male tears go?

By Javaughn Taylor (Young pastor at Central Gospel Chapel in Alleppo, St. Mary)

Society has groomed our boys from a tender age to believe that it is not OK for boys to cry.

Crying would make them look weak, and that is not socially acceptable because it makes them look too feminine.

Tears are associated with females because they are considered to be emotional beings.

Phrases such as ‘big men don’t cry’ and ‘be a man’ are thrown at them, damaging their self-worth and belittling their self-image.

Boys not crying from an early age suppress their emotions, whether it is a feeling of disappointment, anger, loss or even love.

The fact that these boys are not able to express their feelings due to constant fear of what society perceives, results in society creating non-emotional beings.

Boys grow up into men who are seen to be less open about their feelings. The truth is: The fact that they do not speak about their feelings, doesn’t mean they do not feel.

When a man is not able to express his emotions, it will inevitably result in him not being able to maintain a meaningful relationship, and even a cry for help will go unnoticed because he would not know how or when to make that cry.

It is perfectly OK for men to cry.

A man’s tears, just like a woman’s, come from a myriad of reasons – sadness, anger, guilt, happiness, relief, remorse, gratitude.

Do not let societal stereotypes and expectations discourage you from displaying emotional tears.

According to the Irish Times: “Research into suicide rates has recognized one reason for men taking their own life is often cultural. Men are expected to be stoic, strong and non-emotional.”

It is time for men to remove the shields and walls that guard their emotions.

As the Old Testament has it: “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

Food for thought: The Bible make references to weeping kings who were not considered weak – and they were not seen as being less of a man.

Men, please take comfort in knowing that it is OK to cry, because Jesus wept (John 11:35).


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